Satiriker:in

Das Volk versteht das meiste falsch; aber es fühlt das meiste richtig.

Die Sprache ist die Mutter, nicht die Magd des Gedankens.

Es genügt nicht, keine Gedanken zu haben; man muss auch unfähig sein, sie auszudrücken.

Man lebt nicht einmal einmal.

I was a-trembling, because I'd got to decide, forever, betwixt two things, and I knowed it. I studied a minute, sort of holding my breath, and then says to myself, 'All right, then, I'll go to hell.'

O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead…

We have debauched America's honor and blackened her face before the world; but each detail was for the best.

He had discovered a great law of human action, without knowing it—namely, that in order to make a man or a boy covet a thing, it is only necessary to make the thing difficult to attain.

I reckon I got to light out for the Territory ahead of the rest, because Aunt Sally she's going to adopt me and sivilize me and I can't stand it.

Prosperity is the best protector of principle.

When in doubt, tell the truth.

Persons attempting to find a motive in this narrative will be prosecuted; persons attempting to find a moral in it will be banished; persons attempting to find a plot in it will be shot.

Work consists of whatever a body is obliged to do, and Play consists of whatever a body is not obliged to do.

A gifted person ought to learn English (barring spelling and pronouncing) in thirty hours, French in thirty days, and German in thirty years.

Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry and narrow-mindedness, and many of our people need it sorely on these accounts.

Schulreform ohne Gesellschaftsreform ist ein Unding.

Denn nichts ist schwerer und nichts erfordert mehr Charakter, als sich in offenem Gegensatz zu seiner Zeit zu befinden und laut zu sagen: Nein.

Die menschliche Dummheit ist international.

Soldaten sind Mörder.